A letter from April 26th, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, HAPPY 30th birthday! I really hope that you are happy today. I hope that whatever it is you're doing, wherever you are today that you are happy. I can't believe we're 30! Wow! Aging is so weird isn't it? At this moment, I am 25; sitting at home sick, thinking about how terrified I am that my youth is coming to an end. The thing is, I have no idea what to do with our life. I don't know if I want to get into marketing, but that's where I'm at right now. I miss writing, but it seems that I do everything these days but write. I am running around like a fucking crazy person since moving to New York and some of that has come off itself onto me. I don't like the anxiety of this state, I don't like how rushed I feel all the time. I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to think all the things I want to think, read all the things I want to read, and do all the things I want to do- does that get better wherever you are? Are you happier now? Did we find what we loved? If we didn't- I hope that we are at least happy. 30 is a big number, try not to be afraid of it. We are 30, flirty and thriving! Hopefully.. This year I am going to SC twice, and also trying to figure out if grad school is worth the money. If marriage is worth the headache, if the white-picket fence thing is actually for me. I wish I could look through a window at wherever you are right now and adjust accordingly. Did you get married?! Where!? Did you have any regrets? Did you ever make it back to California? Where else in the world have you gone? So many questions! But I'm sure you have answered them all already. I love you so much, I love us, and I love this experience on earth. If weed is legal nation wide, find a joint with some napa red wine today, and laugh. Laugh, dance, cry, celebrate. Happy 30th

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Why Hello there 25 year old self. My goodness, what a journey we’ve already had and will continue on.

Yes, things will...

Olws. .
Loyul’ do mnegaiktr in ,yse and - tinucoen ellw. .
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Did twa?h to ouy ti ssegu eakm kabc ariolnfaci. - uyo time htis notrrehn tlil’ otn in aecxylt ahd tub eb wath fncairoali ndmi. Fuslyroe ornfcisca mvoe to sna uoy. .
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Yes h,aha. I wkno. .
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Egrta eys acts noji adn rae het ni y!uo ethlha. .
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Aifcornila madre too ynnsu ti t’lli na’swt oyu had teh dhar tub in ’llti gdoo uoyr - eb be ilweh ofr midn - ouls. Of ryou latranaifmotnosr het of a flei s’it jmaor neignginb hrtaepc. Oyu nmdi eth lliw ni egenvrithy abre atth dolrw and - ubt ncehga ndaoru epyoletlmc kwen ,uoy. .
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But l’louy evruvis. Ti dan of eomceb nerrogst ceabesu. .
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Nsew more odog. Ltemauso rraemid - oaaitnln oyu eiacrgl get prka in od to yruo. Flie - s,eownd utb updoer uyro het ayd hptpeias ti ti deahl,i adn rina was fo. .
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Ta’nc all away iegv tohugh ti i. - ertla luyo’l cee,prft os iaacpteepr eb yluo’l nihwit utb mrof hte e,lvo psenor will nad htta ’enatr c,seerpt cuhm psorne ayrse or’euy and reiisdng hte. Kcab ctn’a you ytr oto ’ndto eewittsn go ot aecbus-e uoyr njeoy and yrwro chmu. .