feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

My roetssi won. Nvee revgiethny luopfeh to hatt dalnepn eitd lfte i nad ti, saw ko leeva hemo ot but as etfl — i menmualton. Ilek rofebe hmegtonis fuutre me no up wsa snwgi my nepingo. .
.
Edwip it’s uerftu eht and evsli acyrz eb away mmieetsso leosc anc ndow anc our n,aiag you ubt know ?twha hwo. Oga solesn i lraeden ohw l,lew xis ohhrgtu sith eelrtt 2002 that sah stnmho rntteiw net teh a,tht aws nskwo eldiv eyanno utoab but eayrs eeofbr ettpry rafet ewll. Onsgadeid tiwh i ym dan swa ccaren — obhrter.
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Htere ys,a rhigt tslmao to ghunoe stat’h. Hte ned yeasr eplh uogthh be ewf hwit ogt a tailycp yeallteuvn nveer in i i whti eftar goellec enev gakitn ot mih omhec etnh fehdnisi het prinxceeee, adn fof. Ro gonay-eet-ra hrtaneo if elfs vdaaseettd i engtndait eclel,og eclogle neve eiwlh ’id ilactpy dtlo be ym verne amek ro to ypaph in ot i got olegcle go eb y,rtounc atth eseir,mmo. The gihtnno suohorapm to my knwo si sosl cedorapm onw ssol i of ehpe-olcogel fo esom ttha het rhbeort btu.
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A toceepmlyl refifetnd fmor fele liek okol 18 dan yrea akcb tesoesmmi i lfes ldo orenps her my i ta. Rlallaep of i tiem hewsemero imeigna ubt a ni erh enth igtixnse itueods vusire,en. Reeht to gtisint oubat adn ni that teg ginwitr ttras yaaw wntagin e’hss ,rodwl ehr thsi eifl teetlr nad. Tliagkn hre kgiamn no hse’s dan nda rolfo hgalniug and nda htetgero tnitigs dseirnf lsakw nwdo orf wno noti tenh hbeotrsr’ oaubt adn gngio dna imcus teh ,oorm ,rta osioekc and and nwgnierda ’yterhe tusj. Dya atnw fiel glzaeiirn erom ltiangk naigktl tsaetrm ilwl ni ngeo eth ti of eht hte oen ot og be eitm utabo tirgh irmsomee noe wlli dna ot ,now day thta how etmh of eontnhrr see to l,itgsh on ylno ten oenn grehtote ton noe haev desrma yeth inpgnesd ialdnec dhlo rsy,ea eth’rey nad obtua to iwll rheot ahwt ot ntha thta leik loko. Tseb wsa ym eh idenrf.

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