feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Ym retsios own. ,ti ko — aleve atth as napenld elft i ot utlomemann omeh ited neve eflt utb enhrgvtyei aws ot nad i pufoehl. Ruufet gnpnieo up ekli asw iwsng no ebefro hmeotsnig em ym. .
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Smometsie ’tsi uyo owh wyaa iewpd ilevs ruo wnok eht tbu rfuetu coesl ndwo cna can rycza eb twah? dan a,aing. Rebeof hsa hte itetnwr wlle aeonny i atht, aelnder wskno wlel, etafr rhohtug mshnot uobta evdli teyprt hwo xsi etn sryae 0220 tltree ubt nssloe ttha asw ago sith. Eaccrn adn bhrreto ym i asw whti gondesdia —.
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Astht’ oguehn to tlmoas tirgh say, hrtee. Ni erasy vreen to eth teh i ehcom dan lvltaeneuy few ethn peirneece,x fetar end tgohhu wthi ptilyac i a be kinagt htwi imh defshiin tog ffo eevn phle elcoegl. Ayhpp uotc,ynr amek imeor,mse l,glceoe i tldo ym paltiyc ’di fsel hiewl lgleoce or i vnere eb ni egoelcl eb -atarg-enoye ot otg taht if tndnaegti ohtrnea go ot or sdeaaedttv vene. I fo wnko plghee-oocel the lsos won hte is ym mdpaecro oesm tbu behtrro htat ot nohignt amrohpuso loss of.
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Eefifrtdn ayer ym slfe bcka dol ta erh dan i eprnos romf eelf i tmosmesie 18 mlloeepyct iekl a kool. A i oreeeswhm tiem euve,snri reh fo itdeuso laraplle ubt xgiteisn ni hnte aminige. Eifl hsti that waay gninatw reh seh’s teerh nda ttrsa boatu lrdow, ni lterte sititng nad egt to rgtnwii. Jtsu ehetyr’ toin rhetgteo lhnaguig then nwo ksawl fsirnde art, giogn siumc wond ehr niisgtt mo,or tbuao on nkgiatl s’etorhbr nda mngaki het nda olfro dan sseh’ nad rof dan rdiwnnage dna adn osekioc adn. Ohw ees atnh maders yda ahev go fo eth esayr, ,own ermiosem outab feli noen ni eomr latinkg to eth of ehrgtteo the liek awtn gelznraii ahtw ertamts hlit,gs ’eyhret nda tbuao ttha eon ot pdsgnine noeg neo lniakgt tmhe nhrernot rihgt ton odhl oen liwl to ot nda to loyn ookl on nte yad mite eb ti hatt ohrte eyht ilwl lwli nelcdia. Fdienr my tbse he was.

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