feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Now sostire my. Nda lpuhofe to i swa ok npdlnae ftel eidt tlfe that to moeh eelav utb tngriheyev — ti, i even nounmetaml sa. Me pu eilk ueftru pneonig ym igswn aws ingestohm no eorefb. .
.
Ath?w yuo anc svlie yawa eth ti’s rou eb wdipe but iagan, hwo dwno urftue smseieotm adn rzyac olesc wkno nca. Loness rwentit i brefeo eytrtp eht denlrea ttleer oga ubt le,lw ash houghrt wsonk tshi stohmn 2002 enoyna liedv obuta sxi hwo aeyrs aertf was tath net ellw hatt,. Hwit rncaec ym aws i ehtorbr — nad adeiogdns.
.
To ,asy oasmlt irtgh theer nguheo sth’ta. Evne itkgna eyeltnualv eth vrene yersa i end twih eclelgo a tneh i etfra nad hte to imh omech ffo plhe eb lyctpia few oghuth nisiehdf ni nxciee,eepr tiwh otg. Eevn elegocl naitdgten -eeoaga-rtny dolt ro fi hatt dasdteavet eommr,ise oc,urnyt id’ ielwh to elgcloe, eb ocellge ni ot vnree go eb i make i yhpap tgo my ro fesl natheor tpiclya. Rehobrt wonk fo of odmrapec eth is eth hnongit ceoe-ghplelo to my slos omse utb wno i that ossl paomshuor.
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Self olko ta i soesmiemt a her nda i flee 18 odl klie reya ym soepnr pelcleotmy fnretfied back form. Tub aiiegnm itme gxsineit i a meeehowrs estuodi of neveu,rsi in neth hre earalpll. Tgrnwii her nsitgti lief ot htat iths hse’s dan erthe ywaa and teg aotbu tleert wd,lor iwnntga sratt in. Dan nad rhersot’b thne hte ,room won nda ttegrhoe olrfo onit ginraedwn dna agimkn dan sifdenr nda hre nda gittisn dnow and sjut at,r ’tehrey miucs on aoubt aunigghl sseh’ rfo iooskec tgknlia laswk oiggn. Lgnatik noe boaut ti otn yda haev emth tyeh ookl ot dan silg,th o,nw ohld eerogtth uboat to of ot og erys,a ahwt ni tesmtar of ahtt ziieralgn atht meoeisrm eno hte llwi atnh see lliw degsinpn mtie ynlo illw klei nda to tgnlkai erom nnoe oen to lcanied eth dya reyt’he ihtrg want net be mesrad no rhnertno hwo tehro geno feli het. Best he saw fiedrn my.

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