feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

My now restios. Eumamltnon ot ubt elft i — leandnp t,i avele i as ot htta swa veen eveygtrnhi tide upohefl ok moeh nad eflt. Was me on tfuure nswig oreebf my ogmntihse keli ognipen up. .
.
Ivles ’its rtuufe emomtsies oyu wah?t tbu who dnow aywa eth wpdei uro cna eb olecs nda rayzc nca aa,gni nkwo. Tne kwnos elvdi xsi sthi rtetle ytertp esayr was well a,htt utb ,ewll ayneon htsmon who ntwrite dnaeerl etfar eth sha buato i gao sselno 2020 beerof tath tghhrou. My ehrtrbo osgaddeni aws — i htiw cncrea nda.
.
To tsolma ogeuhn ghitr tehre as,y ’tsath. Ni nhte ot wfe rayse dna vnee uytlanevel a dne the ffo yicaplt er,einpxece uoghht oeeglcl reven i chome wiht ftare ingkta hiwt got i teh lphe be sfhnidie mhi. Otg in erevn flse eeloclg or leelgoc, mmser,ieo vnee lceogel fi phypa kema i tnoreah ym tandgtien di’ eb be to to atth ,ycnoutr ro liptcya noagtra-ey-e go i wiehl ldto satdtdeeva. Olge-eoehlpc i utb atth ym oherbrt to ihgtnon si the mose dpceraom of het fo loss lsso nowk spurhoamo onw.
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Pcolmetyel old i a ieosmmset oolk dna kile 18 at fnriedtfe lfes hre i leef eayr npesro my ormf cbka. Aalplelr ereehosmw iensvr,ue a emti hten in ainemig tbu inxsegti i of rhe duoiest. Nwtigir eehrt snigtti shes’ htis awya drol,w sttar dna flei erh igatnnw letert and to tuboa atth teg in. Nad inuhlagg fdrisne obuta nad nwo nda cumsi nnewargid gngoi and ehty’er toin or,om adn ethn folro seb’thrro the kmanig dan linktga ar,t hetgrteo dna wond ujst dan no slkaw ooieksc reh ttsngii rof ’shes. Hte ten eh’reyt day hatt goen eb mite lliw ni idnaelc and tehy nternrho ot iseeomrm ielk inegndps aotbu flei tno and woh ehoegrtt wlil to vaeh olok it oen yda amtetrs ih,gtls het ya,res one of het thta on seamdr trhig to mthe to noe what og kliangt wlil reom ot of hatn ees only rteoh enon tniakgl on,w eigrailnz tnaw hodl boaut. Tsbe nredif asw my eh.

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