Dear FutureMe,
I broke things off with vlad today. He went to his moms, hes coming for toby tomorrow probably. Im going to sleep at my moms. stephanie came over and hung out for a bit. we drank wine ate pizza, cried laughed farted. He was so special to me. But in the quiet moments when it was just me, I started to feel alone. Used after ***, bothering him when he was on his computer. He denied me kisses bc he just didnt want to kiss me.
I got my peircing today. Nose ring left side bc i sleep on my right.
I have no ******* clue what the future will hold, but I am on my own now. I have to pick myself up by the bootstraps. I provide for me no one else. I will find me not in men but within. I will find my motivation to be the best me, the one I only find in the cabins in Big Bear.
You are my hope. I am holding out for YOU. Look around and tell me it gets better. I really need that right now.
Epilogue
3 days later
Hi kyla, belive it or not, sometimes, i miss YOU!! the whole world has just opened up to you for the first time, theres a crazy sense of...
Ni emoerdf htat. Ouy i temi teh inthk lal abt. Ot ihsw ot i eby beerrmmdee ays ybot oyu. ,it on lto saw get ingog ut,b a i hetre. Os oru nuf it rfo nacmipg newt i saw abt!hrydi. Ta eht it was easiuosq. Reh ltisl you eerth peoh i i alreyl dogo ftgi egt atcrishms eptashein fro cna si a ormf s,u. W i eht ilke reipanolhtsi for ginniredm skahtn tdidn avdl fo tba me our gsitnh. Onw a w,no si ciwhh yesa dogo in rthgi ofrtge ot hitng tsi !epwh tis. Megnrbermie i leik cserufoo omntmse good eth. Em uy,o uoy idd icpk tpsoastbro eth pu flyrsuoe tle by letl ayllre. Hrad tgah sith wsa. Day hmoweso u ubt gto ervye nwte owrk pu dan ot. Hvea tgo nac, orf omro i mi ipad tho ltlis wno srttaed i htsi ym i tge ni nerhigyvet utohbg htbic nwo! oerm ngidta ): nyaipg i htelah asirucnn,e my. Ot drah a ittlel oaeln sti eb. Gste sit rieaes tbu ti n,lloey. Go uyo otu alnoe. Onnag omer rendfis ru h!o niogg ru vloe oyu wo!n ot pseeca avhe w ti hioeps. Ermber uufetr i nithkngi em of. Reltet hist redgani. I eb dwlou dnidt hwere nwok i. A i yralle mrmues tub dha oodg. Evnre rtwie uneogh olehtnsy i. Licck tafs thic lkie ofmr ur fro dstfiieas wrrdofa tbotun i pohe btu, i a. Dreeevs appyh to be ouy. Tesinl ot kddio and <3 ur voel od tgu! ooxx itrgh, u thwa seelf.
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