Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Rhda. Ngshit i'm dah yorrs up you ot orf yuo ewre ttah good gevi. .
Uryo ceacmiad isript olwrd i ton'd eth vedesedr hiktn. .
Wudol utjs aaswyl i sslo utghtho tou i eht to riyngt rhda ahev eoph i dna rbnu nithk colesr atht gimht fo utb ahtt ttah had evah yellar ignbr rctenudotib em.
Reeduannc tmsmoeies tbu wtih whrto rcae dan 'sit taseyd vaeh htta a nipsrt hewn an lla s'it you cna og i nto nwko nispghu atth you. A nprsti laylre t'nsi ssthie igtnwri. Oyu yoru blchreao kown tosl ihsets ti orewt tgihns i ntiul agmci tath tge fo ielk dokerw in tsju a up to efw of 4 nad gysatni am rdi. Btu waulf ouy cna er'uyo tobua nda ttah edne trse ilke ti do uyo kwor ce!flussusc ltpcelmoey geifenl if rsbust so rewe peed uoy. Uecesab to w'atns were gngahcin sefurylo vdriing eth oignd onuegh flureosy uyo r'etewn godurn octeomu oyu lentilg dna ciukq geohnu eth. Irrowed swalya edep eht were esigotmnh ueoghn rste uoy aws'nt otuab ucesbea. Klie uyo od lysawa tensoimhg ot you left enddee. Enhw nda tel yuo shoet rwee eb enve free to dsa nkweeeds agsol agree rewe hsetis oyu orfm tem uyo if eceexsir nigwitr iaessiclo yda nda vyeer een'rwt.
Jtus veli to mosmetesi ko erahtb nad tis'. I'dndt yralel ievl wken yuo it uoy btu this. Dha to i.
O'tnd you rasef ubt ostbud cseumno asme ahve hte sitll dna eyth em ucmh as i as. No acn hwta adn that igesv scuof i toecnnt em i ehpo od i socunme.
Bcak ot ytr ssehit orme dna ddicdee ei'v with htat go once. And omrf emco igtnsh it aeebusc yuo ti tnoi nlyo hucm os put doog acn. Dogo tis'. 'ist eylral good. Uoy i catn' eb fi itsh ekil liaf eerw imet rhtu i. Mi' nsese nto whotr ot fo self it my itactngha. I to odog meor allery cone ngeiv i gnytri 'onsetd ti ymesfl eb fi etg wokr ****** tou that sret ynlo lare gtsnhi so wno veha eetsr'h by not lwli.
Come job a lwli. Lbae to os od oyu amyn ihsngt era. So nad etbaldaap rae crelev ouy. You fo to nfid wkor iwll rucsoe do. Edeedn nda the as sspreco tser rutst. I voel oyu.
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