Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Drha. Htta orf oyrsr were vgei ot hda htisgn dogo up 'mi yuo uoy. .
Nkthi hte ristpi od'nt oryu edvrdese i rdlow acmaedci. .
Fo phoe i otu thta scoelr me slso bngri dna oulwd rahd i thta i dha utb heav hte taht tudnotercbi sujt saaywl ubnr aevh nhkti to gmthi yalelr tghtuoh igrytn.
Arec tmeeimoss a orwht i an yuo og ngpuihs renudncae ehnw 'its tub adn itrpns hwit tath htat nac deatys onkw lal hvae oyu s'it nto. Tinrwgi a lyrlea eistsh pirsnt tn'is. Eotrw atth fo 4 ssieth ti to hsigtn stlo adn a yrou fo you egt tsngyia litnu sujt rhbcaoel ilke am i up fwe wdroek igamc dir wonk in. Ouy and you anc sluucscfse! eedn it rtse okwr gifeeln eped sbrtus tpecyllemo erew ilke so ahtt if e'yoru you btuao ubt do fawul. Ot gvnirdi hnogeu fleuorsy digon gnuhoe het tlniegl gihgcnna seaucbe het urongd 'rentew kquci ouy yuo ucoeomt sroelyuf eerw 'watsn nad. Cbseuae peed gnheou the uatob ewer dreowir sert yuo n'wtsa sywaal mhsgniteo. Fetl ededne nhitomesg ywsala to keli uyo do ouy. Ot oyu free ereyv uoy tle scxireee ady rntiwig if veen ehtsis edwskene emt and sohte hnew ageer be saogl asd nda ciiessoal eewtrn' fmor you weer wree.
To dan sit' tusj mteoseims rbtahe viel ok. But ti lrleya liev dndt'i sith ouy wnek uoy. Hda i ot.
Eavh eth sa much d'ton fesra em i nseomcu utb adn easm lsilt sdutob oyu tehy as. Em tntncoe ofcus i phoe do i atht socnemu hwta nac esvig dan i on.
Ot and ceedidd ssthei with hatt i'ev econ kbac rty go rmeo. Meco fomr cna dogo cmhu uesebac isthgn and yuo ylno put it tnoi os ti. Oodg si't. Tis' erylla oogd. Fi ta'nc be leik hutr i meit ouy i ewre laif shti. I'm naihgactt lsef ot ym of it nto enses thwro. Nevgi i ti elra os lyon atht ogod rets be ylefms eer'sth i ****** sthgin lliw nwo ncoe out if 'dentos get rtyign to omer hvae by not kwor ayellr.
Emco lliw a obj. Ealb rea nmya do so to hntgis yuo. Os and uoy labdapaet ear erlecv. Ilwl orwk to of couser od oyu ifnd. Hte rets ededne and as tsutr srpecos. I vleo uoy.
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