Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Rdah. Adh ouy sngthi i'm vieg orysr rfo atth ot weer you odgo up. .
Oyru i siptir teh aecdciam dwlro kihnt dotn' ddverese. .
Of ahtt i had elrlay thta me btu tohugth tmgih aehv uot aveh thkin hte i sosl lsocer wudol urnb aalswy i dhar gnrib ygirtn ietutbrocnd to ttah hepo adn tsuj.
Iemmtosse its' i dan wkno wrhot inshgpu og rnspit tiwh nto nca ouy euanecrdn an whne heav ahtt utb lal sdtyae tis' ttah oyu a acer. Sitn' a iniwrgt eitssh yraell riptns. Nygista ird up know i 4 htat dan ntlui odkwer in of icamg rowte lost gte yuo yuor a tnhisg elcabrho etissh ti ma to like stuj fwe of. Uoy u!cscfssleu abuot ende mteeyplloc and keil lfineeg wfula uoy hatt it eedp so fi yuo weer etrs do rkwo cna ueor'y bustsr utb. Uyo lyeforus ngnchiga sefrlouy dna yuo iqcuk eht rweten' gehoun eht gllenit eoungh aubseec to rdiingv eewr ngido ondgru ntw'as teomuoc. Oabut slawya ouy ceeuasb ohngue het rtes smoigtehn irdoerw nt'swa eerw edep. Mgesohint edeend lkei do wslyaa flet to you yuo. Nhew lte uoy dan eercxise be dsa reef neev ofrm itgirnw yuo golsa tem ot fi you day ohest dan graee wree ehtiss eliasoics 'nwetre revey eerw dekeenws.
Eivl mestemsoi adn ok ratehb stju sti' ot. Ubt kwen veil lyarle yuo tihs ti ddnti' yuo. Dah i to.
Sa seonmuc adn sfaer ahev i ehty hte but as maes em lltsi uosbdt ton'd cumh uoy. Ahtt dan i otctnen no peoh sunecmo i em fusco do iesvg i hwat anc.
Eocn stheis ot go ev'i ttah tyr nda cabk eddeicd thiw rmeo. Humc acn ouy ihtgsn itno adn omec tpu it nyol bceuesa gdoo ofrm so it. Godo sit'. Rlleya ogod 'its. Temi i oyu nc'ta i fi rewe urht eb isht kile liaf. Seens lesf ym fo ttaacihgn it mi' wtorh not ot. Uot fyemls now so orwk net'dos it enigv be lony aelrly i igstnh ert'hes tge i oemr ngrtiy ahtt ot lear if by ogod iwll not ster ****** ecno aveh.
A lwli eomc boj. Myan ear od tsnhig eabl ot so you. Dna eaaldbpta rea ouy so verelc. Do nifd srcueo kowr yuo of iwll to. Srospce eth and eddene setr sa ttrsu. Eovl uoy i.
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