A letter from April 19th, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, it’s a couple days before my birthday 18/04/24 (BIG 17 not the lil one) and i feel like absolute ****. i’ve had the worst couple days ever and i just feel like i’ve been set up all day. I rlly just want to die, I thought i could be strong but these thoughts have come back and idk i just feel worthless and like a failure i have nothing going on in my life (im heavily disconnected and lost my spark) and no one who cares. i feel like life is not worth living anymore, as it's just this continuous cycle of me getting disappointed in every aspect of my life. I know i have a lot to be thankful for physically, but mentally i am not okay and i just want the pain to go away. i swear my step mum set me up ngl like she dead knew what she was doing with the grease thing. I had a feeling that my day wasnt gonna go as planned and it in fact did not im over feeling like this i just want it to end.Though i think i am giving up, i rlly do hope i can prevail, but i am unsure if i will come out the other end unscathed. if you made it and you're reading this i do hope life is better .

Epilogue

about 4 hours later

Lemme tell youu, life has been good and also bad which is expected, however mentally i’m still not...

(orf rehe ma the elik so ot citosptmii fslmye )foc be yrt lodwu kpee feurtu to ehwer dan i eb buaot i laleyr i umymm idrgmeinn ywh. Ubt ahs dohl yk ym bene igkckin het eiralnng ot dan and garb eth tcoetnn riisreptio eneb uni kenc ym yb ityrng ve’i ***. On of lkonoig byhratid ’tis ym rksi oiirpisedrt m’i jtsu 8ht1 broefe ’tles satendi big i ysa fo tysud htsroe owt syad ta ymlesf cil ym nad own nda. Eviind eracg sti to noe lolasw aehv stih me epowr as draibtyh dna lrayle yb hgnti ofr ska ubt all i ym eh saallh. Sa l tis’ ig so 24hrs gisenpnd utb etrid ’iev my acn a sola keat pusl eb veeirvd ubt mi’ kgionol have i nevt’ha it thgmi a het reef rof thsi 🌚 ti gte ggnvii phapy ikle so ik acspe e,ayr ot lovde me iwht ubys eepsnrso ilek ’tsath + ot i n,ma naertoh esno stlysit. .

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