A letter from Mar 29, 2023

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, hi! this is 21 year old you. firstly i hope you’re doing well. right now it is 12:14am and i just watched a tiktok about writing a future letter. today i finally turned in my resignation letter! of course the boss called and spewed a bunch of bs to make me stay but im feeling mostly relieved that im almost out of there and onto a new chapter in life. you know ur girl is in her broke ***** era but im gonna make it work. this is the first time since i was a teenager that im not going to have a full time job and im sure you will remember how useless and lowkey stressed im feeling right now. what job did you end up getting? did you get to take swimming classes? how was starting acupuncture school? how is esther doing? im like 99.99% sure ur little sister is still the center of your life because you love her so much. i hope ur in ur hot girl era right now. im making a guess that our hair is finally long again and that makes me happy. you better not have gotten an undercut again for the third time, because you know growing that out will be a DISASTER. hey. u better go on vacation this year. or if you’re really too busy it better be soon. stop treating yourself like ****. remember u said xcaret. if not at least some tropical place please. how are mom and dad? im hoping ur at least smart enough to read pulse and help mom do some cupping now, or else im sure you’ll feel like a useless piece of ****. as much as i hate to admit it i think by today you probably have almost completely forgiven mom and dad. and i think that’s good. I don’t blame them for any trauma, i just hope we’re strong enough to take care of them now. did u get a girlfriend at all? although im currently opposing the idea of a relationship i know that you still wish for someone to connect and care for you. i hope that there’s someone to tolerate your situation and love you for who you are. im pretty sure you’re still unable to come out, but it’s okay. I’m sure we’re getting there soon. don’t get brainwashed back to homophobia christianity gurl. I’d hate you for it if u do. buy a bottle of soju and cheers yourself today! us making it through is worth celebrating. i love you so much and i look forward to the you im becoming. 🤍

Epilogue

about 21 hours later

hey 21 year old me,

funny thing is i completely forgot this letter existed. i know there's another one i wrote a while ago though, that one seems to stick...

On my mnid. Iemt i mybae het tesg mrmeebre by ledveierd ntwo' it. .
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Adn asrey tehre hte iggno ydtesa pu rfo i hoetl ot ew dewkro aernhto edned 2 t,a cakb. My utlosabe eno ihts an emti niwrogk tenitss'd ethn fo wb,t ta si to ilfe nad a i stientd edvom ef,cfio itqu ttha wtors sop. Idpnteo adn eepplo tihrg but meso eht stale in ta em lalery i mte guenien - od itnrdyest rineodtci it ont to. .
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Si trseeh never opurd terag godni nda iv'e reom been. Us vyeer to ebertt wya of messe in het eb ehs onvreis. Of stlo egart ,own is scu fnrdsie adn she daem ta a. Bjo a eimt dame ratp loas hre, hsa oroewcskr nad ether lal efisdnr rhe litlet olev eehwr esh. Me ryve anc shs'e ekasm me dan rcy imeaign wichh yuo slelt itwh cetnnto ot thta ypaph antw esh ei,lf. .
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Is't ym gnlo si tyaaulcl ym nflyila astp yevr iaa,gn lgon ahir eltitl a astiw. Reebmmre it i hwo uot dab aws ctnduure gigonwr ttha. Iagna neevr. Gtnmpite aerh it nde to eb lueb gdoni uksct dna me hari tdno' my nigdy ikd phoe etcrleny utb up gthli gdla ot ouy'd ahtt is i nto 'eiv yalrle anagi,. Ixpie ?griht lnpas yolo tuc im og ot zbuz eavh 03, dna boeerf i.
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2 olcsoh pcnutracueu did'tn tspa atsl emstreess. Ym owuhitt to cisinlc job my dan pprusto ow'tn mcpreado wiht i on lcibslaya okwr rdalyea lal rfo yan that eiadezlr 05k yignpa esyrticu scsetmalsa no whti onw srtaenp. Wtne a ot dan dna ym thce ihyeneg erqserp ndeo rda got rof cc i tnaled sopargrm back. Rmprgoa ntoegt hatt hrea dna tstar paedcect jstu ni ydo'u to njeu eb i a dgla dah for. In ianyfll neoicdrit kile hrtgi gogni gt?rhi teh fiel it msees si. .
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Ohw mteh nad nigmwsmi ddi i wism keat aeyr ladeern alts yllfain csasl!se ot toko i. Dan teh cakb i rnlae nanwa og oemr ni refutu. I cnreca xrcaet epnnald ujst to no hsti now, dah cinreptcaa ot are,y rfo cbka rof wtih esoindgda go tbu haicn ycava got dda. Ahtt 'im eth srgoecpins fro tsill ieomnsot neo. Oviantca yare ihst no os. .
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Thta y,as ervofing peoectllmy ynnuf ive' oyu kihnt nod't i no. Ree,asd amratu i tnkih etmi 'dnot tepesdi stju hte eb can. To whiint yduo' 3 meso efiohdrri eb arlen sryea nnitsaecs het tpsa. ,ffo em tell how tbu pceltlomye ouy ym it in nwko oeinnl is ocudl fo ti i tops ot lduow eopepl htigr dan s'ti ym nay repastn uct. Raec hvae omm nwo ekat fo heerw rutuef inaga, a eseth'r yrve to oepbssil dd'as kcsi htta i. . . It's dan me ianrsgc. Ceasep yngtir ti onw em si wyh eenb esrpon undob is my eth i've atht ot ifel ot leowh. . . . .
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'dyou spridures eb eyha. . . Gte of i indk did a rrngidifel. Dan a otw enev setb iel,tg deinocdres ouy duo'y irlg ssdirruep neve 'taenvh be ndti'd dinref yt,e met nay it nd'dti asw orf hatt yuro gte eyasr utb nad hatt epskr elfe itwh. 2 veen akbreup ohthrug rpduotspe hre khtic dna stpa ymalfi ,ithn uoy dna hre htde,as. Ntmieghso het fo fro oyru you, reh hsnotm sgeinelf dsuletggr snoc ot ewnh ructienna seh ghniigew so ikgsinr ofr pros sdrenfipih uoy oecnsedsf nad. Os it but levo, iwht dcdeide uoy dan ni be go arbev to uyo ewer. Imnakg hwso ouy nda pu yad oyu pap ebakrpu nad niefrog tihw tjsu and mmoe no eth ,tspo tafer up a dare kerba omfr made osetn you wognr pedmud idae ctyi tb,w uoy ot itwa rhe yructno ni hre iumaiaflnr she 1 21/. Erh oknw owkn h'ttsa theda i i hesret ,btw a gfla edr. Raec aobtu eth ot cerad mtei ubt ouy ta cumh erh oto. Fo a ot but nedo v'ei ihst lot dfin olve bteret tpsa gelianh fwrdora gioonkl mi' ,yera. Ellw' three lvnatyulee get. .
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Cjeui utb mi' a rngdnkii otn i lacytlua idd byu pehac !ronaemy. .

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