A letter from February 1st, 2023

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi. I just wrote a lot. I replied to my past self, but I also wrote another letter today that should be delivered on September 9th 2023. I am doing homeschool right now. I hope you can remember those awful feelings from January-February 2023 of crying myself to sleep without my phone and being so miserable. This is the worst time of my life. By a mile. I have never felt so depressed. I am planning to go on antianxiety/depressant meds and I am seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. I tried to overdose a few times. I lied to everyone about it. Then I thought of jumping out of the balcony. I hope 15/16 year old me is over those feelings. I want to become a better person. I hope in three years from now I’m thriving. I hope I am still alive. If I am, I am going to ask some questions and although I won’t be able to see your reply, and take your advice, I want to be able to reply to myself, in the sense that I really can take the advice before even reading it. First question: how does it feel to have no braces. I’m not insecure about my teeth and hate them and want new ones and what not, but I don’t love the braces. My next questions is this: are you still reading? Not just reading for school, but openly buying books and reading them to fall asleep. I just finished flowers for Algernon and it was really good. The next thing I want to know is are you writing? I was thinking about either making a journal, or just a full on book..or maybe even both! I wanted to call it Mentally Fat. Because, I am, In fact, Mentally Fat. I thought it would be just about my life and the struggles since kindergarten. It could be similar to flowers for Algernon, with fake (but real) progress reports as if they were starting from. My first day of kindergarten all the way to where I am now. I could continue it for a few years with the “progress reports” and see how it turns out. I hope you follow through. I want to be someone when I grow up. Not necessarily famous, but I want to make a point in this world, and grow up to be really smart. I want to be a lawyer and graduate from Northwestern university or UPenn. My next question is how are the dogs? None of them died right? (Hopefully) Any new ones? Who is working for us as help? I cannot imagine Christina is still there. A really important question coming up..What school did you end up going to? (I am going to give a brief warning that there will be a bunch of popcorn questions starting right about..now.) Did you leave after 8th? How did you manage to stay in school? (If you didn’t get kicked out) How is hockey? What do you consider your “main sport” as of today? If you didn’t leave after 8th and stayed for 9th, did you make varsity club? How was commencement? Were you field hockey/hockey/crew/any other sport captain? Probably not hockey, but I am expecting field hockey. This text question might trigger a weird PTSD. No more mental hospitals right? Especially not Charlotte Hungerford I hope. Were you Mr. Przygocki, Mrs. Giese, or Mr. Greens prefect? How is Charlotte? Who are your REAL friends? That’s ok if you have none(which I don’t expect you will) but right now I have none. And that’s okay. I’m dealing with it. My trusted adult right now is Allie Molner. I am happy with that. I already wrote the conclusion to this letter but I want to edit it and ask a few worldwide questions. Have you moved houses? Have you gotten a new phone? What new phones are there? Any pandemics? Have any family members died? I am going to end the letter now and I imagine you are not thrilled about that, but I encourage you to write one today for it to be delivered in just about 3 years or so, and make another one next month to be delivered soon. Also, when you write back to me, please make it long. Although I will not see it, I feel that you will respond in a wholesome way. By the way, have you blown up on tiktok? My recent tiktok of Dallas just got like 500k+ views and I am VERY proud. These are really fun, and emotionally therapeutic too..be good, xoxo Georgina at 12:34pm from feb12023❤️

Epilogue

about 1 month later

Hi. It’s been just over three years since I got this letter. Some answers:
No braces is great! Got them off over a year ago.
I don’t read as much...

Moenyra. Igaernd orf gshieln tlialo. Utb i leik it nda si olcsoh fro kidepc osoo it it.
Tirew i odnt’. At lla.
Cyalatul ,nfei ear gdos. One on eddi. Ujdeg otmshn a gao telf wef. Culaalyt nstomh nkhit i ago senve. Mom imh diter fo tgo. Oitmnne trsanicih ynnuf oyu. 0242 flte seh ni. Olehw a in teenttamr tbewene bchun ni ew dah wsa i hliew. Yuo in nad rof 22 nmeetatrt honmst go ntod’ know eohm aws ho coen ’idndt tubao t!tha i. Nrttinsgeei ervpsoiu bsaeecu si itngoth gecra erukosepeeh itrg!h kcab ruo hscitrina how te,fl cmgion lultacay was. A khint ahs ebne sha a peuclo sayer rhee ofr. H’ses odgo.
Wtne ttenetmra to entiedn,om i sa i. The mfor ldatse atth th9 ot iddeml fo ht7 dimlde fo. Me i latpiosh clhoos eth inottl the in i 0t,1h ,9ht new dah adh ucseidi amtettp rof for a ltef het in btu to of stre emiytlulat setdrat nda emasrhpih wnte ot a os hcihw weke leave. Of at wno …oschol the ’im fusino ho it eekw saw siftr l!wel. Ttah soed in iyct eon eht ist’ a on riannleg oen hlocso day. Txen to yblpaobr m’i inogg ihcbr ryae,. Remebrem eerw i hte to yuo wno tgrhi fi skgiaenp oudwl yuo amen. Arcehli ewtn reteh. !eayr wwo roijun. Eray eb i neriso oto ehert ntkhi lil’. Ot dsytu em tawns my ni refanc add. Tawi i lil’ nkthi tlli eeolglc. Egllcoe e!elclog. .
I nesgrgidadri ymsure bkac verne autob snoteiqsu uaesbec ewnt teh.
Tohcu fro aesdyt uoldc urenetdr drgae ithw mecmeotnenmc i satl ehwn aws reya idd i adn aebusce it sb’ayb i logn i her as ot tinlu ni go sa 9ht ohme. Was nife it. I a it utb awakwrd sgues aws ee,noeyvr cine nseegi tltiel. Eltf eusrmy i i podestp tsposr wehn dngio. Asyer orf eoykhc iev’ edlyap 3 won i d’tno ta tihnk aselt. Kwon i. Eb brlbyapo eshkodc douy’. I to ssegu i ubt used eb ecar dn’to i ti, awdyosan etnsaaopis aubto. I alst mpeerebts dah sida utb ot oshclo as ttrsade i evlae ehkoyc edlfi. Yeladmn wree neiosr teh iacstpan fro dan aomn trehi eyar. Ti teerh nbee i me tub haev dluwo astn’w dan anom. Ybab lotd me. .
Ntalem sploisaht. No pdts. Ont grteiedrg btu ’mi yse lewl ptsd,. Abkc in ch nreve i wetn soahplit to cuittcnceno. Nikth bnee tish i ei’v 5 isenc eowtr ot i own or 6. Aws vanie oww so i.
Efcetrp no. Efin hcttearlo si. Monmeecncemt etwn hwen ot erh in ysb’ba i saw uejn i. Ni lcpeou dggraintua tujs lebivee ’actn esh’s i ?otnhsm? uyo a culod. Ceykoh kreob amr eflid keil alts ihktn gdiurn i ryea erh hse. ‘42. Wtih green utgahc up mr. Okwn i isdsem he em. Cuold ltle i. ,eshlotyn ’eiv asw sa it dlrzeiae rtap otgtne of si miogvn stju no das i file ubt rldeo. Mhi fnote n’dot iknht tsju i ouabt idd ah,tt nad os i. Alclutay at lla. Tts’ah ok nda. Im ok.
Otn emdov hsesuo heav.
17 onw hoepni eht ,16 got.
No pdnsaiemc.
Rtage stal ddei rgdnama mya.
Mdni igennd e,yha on’dt i atht tseeltr eht. I owlhe to ym avhe rmoe reitw lfie.
To nda i wsa nto eys’rg aynmato ggnoi ocnutnie bakc i’m gcwanhit ithgr eacsube nda ot werti atwn wno. Kwon eatndw i i btu em csebeau you ,idd to. Dcolu earrpedp ugh a tspa nad htwa ofr ebkclu vige i up fesl adn xnet i asy dan eb my ihws emsco. Itnngho but tltlie a ouldw icne eeapprr grwnnia eebn odlcu seabeuc em, ahve. On goa i lowb pu kktoit yrae a did ,yactlual. As ogt i lginvi i aws ni hg,dsinith kabc ,rtatemnet form cone i past bkac ookl eth in. U,p wogrn i adh bdineh raizeled saw eltf i rost eyovenre and of. Old 13 a arye romf kiel 0223. Ryae i ti nt’ddi nuilt a erialze tlear and. 2220 hemo mfro nda prcetui ot efiorpl nad i erbremme my of cinnhagg igngtet i eon rdyab. 2205 it saw. No tub ml,syfe opohst i had ginhotn fo dha i. Dan ’nditd leerazi aswt’n 2022 i it anyremo. Vdemo em dha whotitu ppolee on. Answay,y horgu aws that. A go pocuel on rkow idd ti riavl itedr i mstei i and ot tkotki nhkti. Ninogth uthgho yazcr. Eth oll taconcu kdheca gto sdllaa. Pu oesm anihc rhskace unr ’its yb tub in tills. Ist’ eyht psto i t’ond but khint fuynn. Ro if hgnsti omes lrealpal in be ’oylul ectwi, inrdage ivuseern way yoka hrtee ehrwe hpaepn kown is shit u’oeyr a thta tsju. Amek nda tuo ti llwi yuo. Wrhee lwli uo,t it utb esimt be uyo nt’od oyl’lu iieeyltfnd illw ihknt emka ouy eterh. Eeascub adn i ti idd od hwo i wo?kn. Ym uto elfi fo krasdet het dmae ti of dteepse i itmse. Etfprce now is gihtr it tno. Lal ta. Itb noe ton. Tills i rlsgeugst veha yamn. Onw evah that for do gnrtade, but ot ta i ti lfuetgar do i i rfo ’mi nokw nda wtha iontp ecbuaes eon tno ookt. Is ifel oosoooo os yrsac. S’it rutth eht. Inhtsg lsseno si ,og noudar tub cksit ot aseucbe you pnpah,e het esrnop on to nad ltmtlieuya, dna lufsoyre you tucon tub ocme dean,lre hte is epolep erve iv’e sjut ovimng, hatt tgebisg nlyo peek ehav. .
.
Ouy evol i.
Ffo iigsngn.
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Ht,6 rgi,oeagn 2026 marhc :m535p -.
💕.

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