A letter from Dec 19, 2022

Dear FutureMe, This year has been a crazy one. You learned what love really means, the lengths to which friendship can be tested (and lost), and life shattering pain that you've went through. Know that whatever decision you made, it was the right one. You’re here now, and you’re exactly where you need to be. A couple things to remember: You learned how to honor and treat your body well this year, and how to honor and treat those around you. Don’t ever settle for the easy way—just don’t settle, period. Life is too short. And remember that this current version of yourself loves you… And that’s not going to change. You spent your whole childhood yearning to be an adult, impatiently waiting for the rite of passage that would grant you the maturity, respect, and validation you so desperately sought. Now that you’re an adult, all you crave is the sweetly uninhibited moments of play and lack of responsibility that childhood granted you. Life isn’t a sprint, it’s a long race and you’re not in it just to “win.” Be gentle with yourself. Be messy sometimes. Let it all go. Embrace all of your learnings and cherish your experiences because they truly are divinely fated. ENJOY IT. ALL OF IT. You will have enough time to do everything that you love, so stop stressing so much. You miss the beauty when you are stressed. Be here now. Hug those around you. Ask them how they are doing, and truly listen (without plotting your response at the same time). The inexplicable sensation of true connection and understanding is the best feeling in the entire world. Money is just a number. It comes and it goes. Love is the true currency. No one lives forever so be sure to cherish every moment, and when they pass and when you pass, find comfort in knowing that we are simply souls within these bodies, and we will all be connected at some point again. Life is a gift, not something that is a given, so enjoy every second while you’re here. Life has been interesting, crazy, fun, boring, unexpected, expected—a lesson in opposition. Despite all the constant frustration, you’ve managed to wear glitter every **** day, and hey, that’s kinda a victory, right?Despite the frustration, you’re on your way to making all your dreams come true (probably). Everything that has happened has lead you to this moment. Don’t change a thing. Everything worked out exactly as it should be. All the puzzle pieces fit, all the paths make sense. All the people were meant to be. All the successes and failures and heartwarming and heartbreaking moments were all worth it. No regrets. You were and are and have been and always will be yourself, and that’s what matters above all. Right now your life is one giant crossroads. It’s exciting. It’s frustrating. It’s temporary. I hope you have a few more things figured out by now. But I also hope you still have some questions. Keep asking them. I’m sure you’ve got a lot going on right now, and that’s good. Just don’t lose track of what’s important, what’s worth making time for. Spend time with people you love. That’s first and foremost, always. Pick up the phone. Make some plans. Get outside, even when the couch is calling. Camp in the woods. Build a fire. Have some wine. Stay up late. Climb a mountain. Go for a sail. Trust that things will work out, or change them if you don’t like the charted course. Eat good food cooked from scratch. See live music. Travel abroad with someone you care about. Immerse yourself in a good book. Write down your thoughts. Tell your stories. Tell others’ stories. Listen. Set goals, both lofty and reasonable. Move your body. Give back. And never forget to be grateful. You should be oh, so very grateful. Hey girl, slow down for a second—I have some things I want to share. Some stuff is going to happen to you. You won’t be able to plan for it, pencil it in your schedule for when is good for you, or always have someone pick up the phone to guide you through it. You’re going to have to just roll with the flow, take it in, glean lessons from it, and then carry on, head held high. Maybe journal on it—sometimes insights don’t come quick, but there’s something positive to be found from most experiences in life. Focus on that. You’re going to have a lot of mantras throughout your life that are going to help you. No, just because one strikes you when you’re practicing a hip-opener doesn’t mean you should get a tattoo of it on your forearm. You’d be covered by now. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but mantras—like people—will come and go in your life. And as much as you’d like to you can’t hold on to them all. You best realize this now and just try and enjoy what you have in the present moment. Just because it passes doesn’t mean it wasn’t powerful or important. And you’re not silly for believing in it. Please never stop holding on to hope. It will cause you pain, but it will also help you get through the days, excite you, and make you feel like your heart is a big thing of cotton candy. Are you still eating cotton candy? Good. Go high-five that inner child we sometimes think is so silly. She reminds you of your mother. Go buy yourself one of those Spongebob Squarepants popsicles you get so excited about and give her a call. She misses you too. Your to-do list can wait. I should have told you to ignore the jeers and snickers. To not care what others think. To not be afraid to be different. To not be ashamed of who you are. Worst of all, I should have ignored the jeers and snickers. I shouldn’t have cared what people thought. Because in doing so, I said horrible things to shame you. I took you for granted and dishonored you. I said you’re not enough. That if you’d only be a better teacher, a better wife, a better friend, a better writer, a better lover…then I’d love you. If you were more confident, more social, more assertive, then I’d respect you. If you had less sun spots, if you ate less carbs, if you were more adventurous and thick-skinned, if you were a mother, if you achieved your goals, then I’d want you. I’ve said things to you I wouldn’t say to my worst enemy and you’ve taken it, and internalized every calloused word. And for that I’ve lost you. I should have been there for you. I should have taken care of you. I should have fought harder to be the person you deserve. I should have protected, defended, and cherished you. I’m so incredibly sorry I failed you. I’m sorry for hurting you, for leaving you, for not reminding you every second of every day how wonderful you are. How worthy you are. How brave and kind and powerful you are. Please forgive me. YOU are significant. YOU are worthy. YOU are beautiful. YOU are smart. YOU are strong. YOU are enough. I know you are going through hard times right now. That life hasn’t given you what you hoped and hasn’t turned out the way you thought it would. I know you are disappointed and sometimes feel like a failure or that it is all your fault. But the truth is: YOU are not a failure nor could you ever be. YOU are strong and brave and honest and YOU will overcome. YOU will persevere and come out on the other side more YOU than you’ve ever been before. You do not need anyone else’s approval, love, or friendship to be whole. Together WE are enough. WE will conquer this new future. I’ve got you and this time I’m not letting go. Ever. This time, I will put you first. I will respect you and honor you and cherish you. Love for eternity, Me If you’re ever feeling down or unworthy, try writing a love letter to yourself. You’ll be surprised all the healing that can take place… Just remember...It may have been complete nonsense to read this but you are enough. You are unique and rare, just make sure you love yourself and is always happy. Just rmeber one thing, love your studies. Study like it is the most important thing in the world(which is true). 'Walk like you own the place, or walk like you don't care who owns the place." "There is no great genius without some touch of madness.' Study, organize, be perfect, be aesthetical, be a role model. conquer everything with your intimidation and knowledge. To ruling the world, Yubashna - dec, 19 2022 10:53pm P.S HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Eyes full of stories, heart full of memories. :) ; (You know what this meant)