A letter from June 22nd, 2020

dear pretty girl, i love you so much. ily for everything that u are- you're amazing and gorgeous and brilliant and I'm so happy that... well, happy that I'm you! i mean, technically I'm NOT you, but that's based on whether or not you think that "self" changes with every passing moment, or slowly over time... do we ever change? yes i suppose we do. but i like most of the changes ive made and i hope you would agree with me. change is a good thing, but don't think u have to change for anyone because u don't. i love you and I know, thinking back, you love me. isn't that all that matters? i'm sure some things have happened to you that I couldn't even dream of rn, but I know you got thru them, the way you always do, and let them make u a better person. ik you're reading this, trying to think back to when you wrote it, (charleston?) maybe wishing you were here in my time rn instead of where u are. you'll smile at the fact that i called you pretty girl (nostalgic from when you watched criminal minds maybe?) and you'll respond to me like i'm a real person, like I can actually hear you answer, like i still exist. funny. by the time you read this, I technically wont. take a deep breath-soak in the moment you're living. i haven't experienced that moment yet (maybe "I" myself never will...) but u ARE. isn't that amazing? you're LIVING! (you are. you are. feel your pulse. breathe.) not everything has the chance to live but YOU do. don't take it for granted. text an old friend for me, be nice to mom and alex, pet storm, look at yourself in the mirror and smile at what u see, laugh, rewatch an old show- live. just live. that's all i'm asking. come on smart ***, it can't be too hard can it? <3 ily sienna, forever and always. sincerely, the you from june 2020 p.s. im in love with dr. spencer reid rn but hbu?