A letter from May 11th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, This one will be a year away, so it gives you a little something to look forward to. I know right now you feel lost. I know this feeling of sadness and despair is so hard to manage, but I also hope by now it's gone. I know I deserve more than temporary happiness right now, but I hope I have more than that a year later reading this. I promise you it's not selfish to want more for yourself in life. Please stop weighing in on everything you do wrong, and focus more on being a positive for yourself. You are beautiful inside and out whether you believe it or not. I know you've had a rough time these past few months, but who hasn't? There is a full blown pandemic happening right before our eyes so it's not off to feel the way you do. But by now it should be over. It should be the past, and as you well know, time is linear and only moves forward. Memories remain in the past but they're always there to reflect on, so reflect. Think of the positive and negative aspects of your life and use it to your advantage. You deserve to be the best version of yourself there is. You are going to be happy now, your 19 year old self is putting it out into the world. And I know you're going to be 21 in a couple months so be smart with your choices as you haven't been in the past. I love you now with everything I have left in me, and I hope you're still here on earth, because we all still need a light such as yourself glowing at full brightness. You matter and you've given everything you've had, and I know sometimes it's hard, but it's worth it. You're going to matter forever. I promise you, you will be okay. I may not love myself while writing this, but I will by the time I'm reading this. - Your 19 (almost 20) year old self who has always felt a little lost in the world...