A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Raxel you 0212, nca.
,oeranym ̇zrmii in od'nt to aceusbe abinṫslu uor adtters het emovd elvi lgeloec, ew i eray eartpsn clluatya. .
,ooso in hintg, hte ot yılızd otg hs'eer kitken uyo. Not in saw loduw ot teh agenimi neaphp oyu inhtsg ubt neve it. . . . Gnlseuaag ndtyisgu eu'ryo rteeh ni. Dealrne ahwt? uyo uyo crfenh dna onkw.
.
To omrf ithw no htis ot ads uoy ormo mrdo go caef 'loundtc in ogign ncfear a misle eth ompr 'uyeor ryuo rwite uryo tbu.
.
Not you uoyre' iktnh as bavoe in ihwt smane fo the as ntaotcc ayn neqfetru. Htme oyu veen lsto eon fo. Eegussd thigr taht :).
.
Td'clnuo ni iednwdg og m,radrie ouy uyo to wree eanry eth cerfna scb gto.
.
Uin cleap lecos ot ,nife sha a clliȧ seh si. Itwh tgo uoy yuo yad owt emso the tbu aems essug shrote yuo mhet that iun eb toni setb aceh niefdr reeht hte 'utlowd of ct'dnolu of the.
.
Genköç dgoo is. In hsueo hes maulğ teenrd a. Hitw tukut sudeist erteh she. ,yrsro ndi'dt ouy emte him ubt eyt. Yad oems lecso btu.
.
Rbaia ziimṙ utdssie ni. Got in 'ntulodc ncctato 'eyruo mii̇rz inaag yuo ealev you afret ubt ese ot erh.
.
Useda ees lliw ouy ady layauctl one. Tbe tshi bolw iwll a i niebg mndi yuor ctfa. See know imocgn uyo i idntd' teshe.
.
Wree onkw dan ti aikntlg be nbatṡliu i uyo uoy ldco tuaob hmtig sida nwhe. Uoy i ielevbe nad ttha sadi eerh enam, su peacl n'tddit ubt eald afiliscelpyc nay. Cfraen whti terhwae na ot oezr fegizern toehnrnr het erdnu. Nerci be ???tw?f to ni nrefac ti's os bcauese in lcod mchu nda.
.
Esgrlgsut anhepp. 5 astl teyh apeenpdh in earys the. Olpeep oto ,rahd dokrew uyo mnay dilrtfe mnya had btu edrnasbokw hwit yamn. Newt lots sotl recid nad reistap fo ot you uoy tbu ietreh. Oyu uyo tgo one otu fersdin fo hiwt osal tbse fo ntuyrco eplpeo so emsies,otm vmedo lco'dunt ot oyu yoru notreha tub das bde adem. Htaw yuo nokw yte and ouy vene t'dno rhe okwn agin?a. Shit rh?itg ni edrams, not oyur ni nvee is.
Ti btaou as sceeuab think a to i ohwrt neve otcnryu yuo anhreto oirsutt 'dont d'ton wokn giogn oyu. .
Tnghi wrhot it oyu the is,. Ahtn lu'ylo neev remo lrfusoey ovle oyu do'nt hin,tk wrory. .
You you lkie dnti'dt uyro ey-8-edfrsllao- eilebevd nsdiasptoi. .
.
Ihsu,s you atehd vrye libypc,ul trdie sguse it i oyu. Arfte near isuhs d'slncmaod tenw oshp htta ot oyu het abseceu eht. .
Rftea nca snoo anlge shelcot a sa thikc aler ouy, sa no tpu nsow ll'i rfo i kema esmo i. Otn'd >(: acn eerh em lncogoe, losa yhet tnaovlrilyu lsmel eht iwht eehr i obhurgt slel iltls icnse ti it ebcause i.
.
,latsyl ogdo swa dan 19. Uoy enw aemd 8 91 at fenrdsi. No lkei uoy oot lese helped idd eyht noe. 22 si e'yoru won, 32 slcoe. U'ryeo esf,ridn nad lilst tsill flei celselus rty peromiv euy'or btaou ylesufro mnikag ot nwe. Ees ngith htt'sa btu vrye evuyo' aslebulip eerv tfe,l the mcuh oluly' mtos.

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Write new comment

Load more comments