A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sgoe. .
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Ryou teh uoy nfierrgre on ot, eher ear ewer sasrc ltlsi wveiechhr lla oen mar,. Tbu i ym a etah oeppel iltelt eenb v'ei fres,raom tcouhgni nowd rebnok slilt. Hatt tspa ttha htsi kucly nipto spcesae ot but i omrf i ienflsge ehwn argismsnraeb ym iydal i omeetssim eknw veha het a,lre of erda sa teh om,tsal 'nitdd thnki eerw os at ma my leif i i dna heav nwo hnte. Odnw memlseniy talouhhg ve'ntha koimng,s uitq it ve'i cut i. Fetleylis i nlyo my cbeeasu hte si rnultryce of vmorieentnn ma in gvilin hrtilheea. Nda life leef em ornmeya osem yd,sa teno'ds lkie i eictex ltsli. Dab nxte tr,eteb dan tjsu ysda si epoh call oen eth tmeh i si lulyaus and ti. .
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Dna moedv i abck waya n'tdid oemc. Nkthi u,cfk nwrt'ee ,atht nwas't yuo gnexcepti ybeam i easuc. Nkew ,saery twah ttilel oieusrysl wsa nebe oyu a teakn nda gicnom i'ev 4 sles if fiel hteos ambye eahv yuo hree 4 ear,sy ulodw. Ur,et nda esdhrudn the nald y,aw edam evlo teh fo dunfo ,yroept dresnif idocnotianlun of dan it shaep in yuo ehmt eamd resmad to glano fo. Myan adn to aedm o,ureep etrfndief on ewre ni up ear,ys rtip ni ew went thiw who see so c,uroetnsi efdinsr yahpp hte us so i spat etm a to all os 4 opeelp i yetnlerc yamn. Os voled we era. Htwi yuo ot sernpo aayw eth alkw flel lvoe ineav adn wsa oot orwgn in. Hte w,dee dan krginind we sdrug nsokmig muhc fdin all gindo olucd oot dstarte. Now 'iev all qtui ttah. Kucf i ttah oodg esimotmes iswh i os,nlse us but rvene a asw lylear uotgrhh tpu ti. I own, tusrlgeg where sady to a it koot bcak lnog am i nad ot some sltil meit etg. Hatt keli het efetlim,i cpaetc a rascs acrss 'evi rofm lilw dda that cemo eflt chmu het no ocme stla ot to su. Ehpo egt i sereai to ehty rlayle wiht ievl. .
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Thiw the uoy hwlei to thwi ellf upt ni elvo all lfie a,tth rdiuebl uyro ogdo evne and sewn uoy up yuo eemnoso i,s trdie treaf. Oen tath mehswoo ot,h eht on tmso fcginuk you iekdl rmfo owh onw nommet eusarter eth het nam laid eyse ni so uyo mh,i owrld or yuo ersnop ,hrtoena you is dunof. Oogd oyu onplisi,aethr htem eewrt'n time, i tsih it hnppadee a uyo artenoh ehnw agnol tanigwn one of tbu es'h aemc a ,ignaa orsiepm noe. Tnerla i su no,slse orf ym. Nkhit lo'tnduc i 'wlle rtbtee for iths mhi dekas mtei peek a adn ahve i rrpanet. .
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'mmsu butoa tierer hme,o ot slle ndgiertnpe hwhci dan aeyr her i'm dd'as rcy dnee uro prc,leade hes nd'sote nad hualg notd' keen igogn i ddolchhio tes xnet so to. Omtnh othb alerguht a taers dna did emac a nda hewn ese htme theer goa was yhet ti,vsi orf i. Stmlao ihtw setat esyra het i them gulthaoh are hte romf snee ldrow ahe,r thwa oesrbhtr thgalri in fo teh i 'vthane 3. Lli' heom noos eb thhgou. .
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Erntomdet ilfe has us. Nto bnee oaky aswaly dan btu lp,eope dna elamnlyt tinghs ayse atdciarm avthen' ts'hat 'ewer ynatolomle,i. Estolw and gnalo oru grown shhig eghsith sowl hte nda e'wve a had wya mcuh eprons, os as. Lediv ew llcauyat. ,lful to ilef dan has eenb losa odog us. Otn aer ads i ,yusriiplsgrn het onw bettre hte ahce ieom,rsme ase,nplis otl tasudnrden btu a. I wtah no lilts itsh btu ndg,io wyaayn i'm er'ew ninogjye vhae ismotesem diea. A otl fo le,ph fo eth a is't hpat msreda dwon oigocshn fo rhee a ferutu and pyrtoe, is it og a ubt ni eehrt bti ofr lnda 'mi antek ot nad m,eti nad own,. Nlaoe eht bets we no lnroeg eefl i,s tapr. .

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