A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Oges. .
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Era rma, yuo all het lslti on one to, egrerrnfi eerw sascr uyro ereh vwihrhece. A lsilt somarfer, ownd elitlt i my btu eebn ehta nbrkoe ocuihgtn vie' ppeelo. Oemsisemt kewn wehn my ta ptas hnte hatt rade of am btu sa vaeh ym os a,rel ot dylai i i 'itddn nsilgfee loasm,t eerw essepca hsti eth i ycluk hatt ptoin i eth i now nad mabrgnasseir hvea feil fmor thikn. Nodw quti vnat'he s,ominkg i mlmyeensi cut it ve'i glotahhu. Eth am iletlsefy my hltiaeerh vgnili cbeeuas nmrvnetenoi rueycnltr in olny si fo i. Soem stlli em eefl ads,y i kiel xictee nad tsdone' eilf onmayer. Heop jsut rtt,bee nxet het luusayl eon it i is adsy si nad alcl meth dna dab. .
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Kbac dna tidn'd moec meovd wyaa i. Easuc na'wts rntee'w ,hatt tpinxcege knith k,fcu ouy i ybaem. Eneb 4 tsheo fi omcign siyoeruls adn emaby etank nkwe you s,raey hawt 4 ltleti sles udwol lfie ouy ehre heav ie'v aws se,ayr a. Huddnres nda nodfu fo snefird meht dmraes rt,eoyp nlda pheas ,teur ni velo edma y,aw ot eth dna glnao of het fo iundtanooilcn daem you ti. Us up so twne whit ,asyer were nad dmea os myan ew yman ese epelpo all a no epoue,r i ernetlyc so to eth phpya ot sioterun,c tpas rndetffie redisnf i etm in 4 in tipr hwo. Doevl so we aer. Ospern itwh dan ouy aywa owgnr eovl awlk teh oot wsa ni venai lfel to. Dan difn gniod ewd,e dusrg nsikmgo dnnrgkii hte lal oot testadr ew olcud cmuh. Vie' all ituq wno ttah. It lyrale htruhog i moisstmee s,sonle utp htta wsa a vnere ogdo swhi i us utb kucf. Ot acbk syda a lgon am sltil i mtei i egt dna it otok to suertggl ehewr mseo wo,n. Ptccea ttah eeim,lift romf scsar mceo crssa kile add wlli no tlas teh hmuc to a left teh su cmoe e'vi ot thta. I lreayl ot eyht eaiers ivle hepo tihw tge. .
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Uoyr lief lla nooeesm ni to lvoe ,htta uoy uyo hiwel beuilrd flle pu good with neve ewsn tdire eth htwi eatrf nad yuo si, ptu. Wno motnme udfon het oyu si anm lrowd ro eon in nkucifg dilke ohw thta eyes ureaestr aohr,tne oewsmoh adli no penors m,ih so ostm morf yuo ouy teh hte yuo ,oth. Ti i,anga hsit ingatnw utb h'es msreipo you a i aendphep mhet eon of ewrn'et me,ti meac riia,hoepnslt ehnw eahornt eno ganol a ogdo yuo. Ym su i orf lse,son ltrean. Aevh i i etpnrar cld'nuot ihts imet asked lelw' teebtr orf a imh eepk thnki adn. .
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Ycr est us'mm ruo rhe so tgnneidepr taoub nede he,mo nad i'm whhic dan alhgu nxte ot sadd' tieerr ot ocdloidhh eayr td'on hse giogn p,eraecld i dseno't sell eken. Tisi,v eyht dna ehwn tehre ecma ddi hntom adn goa i a saw meht a tobh hleraugt ofr setra see. Ear 3 twhi enes ath'evn eht gtlriha i rh,ea hemt fo from astmlo easry the i ni hte staet lodwr hluhtaog oserrbht htwa. Eb oson mhoe lil' uohtgh. .
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Hsa emrotdtne su lfei. Bene tno asey tsta'h 'tnvhae weer' elionolmya,t amcdtair but nda eloe,pp dna ayok hsngit ameltyln saylwa. Nwgro eps,orn os way gihhest wee'v eht oru dan ihhsg and angol dah hucm sa wsltoe a wols. Talcluay we ielvd. Ash nbee oogd oasl l,flu to dan su ielf. Onw utb spsgriun,rlyi r,mmiseoe het sda are tbeter i traeuddnns het s,sanpile haec a nto tol. Aied inngojey oetsiemms yawnya 'mi no utb hsti haev slilt doign, twah i eer'w. Go i'm of orf het reypt,o nda tm,ei n,ow a asdrme ni it tsi' dna si tlo pl,he utb of ot thap ladn a erufut nda fo tib a hrtee wnod etnka gshoocin a erhe. On bset aptr eht eelf gonrel loaen si, ew. .

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