A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Geos. .
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Oury eth on lal eewr to, ifrerengr eno mar, evihrehcw isltl ssrac oyu heer rae. I inghtocu bkeron haet frream,so ym down ettlli loppee ei'v ubt a slitl eben. That so t'dind my tpnio i spta e,lar i hte khnit osmalt, erda aevh morf neht ulkcy iefl aehv gleiefns i tbu my hatt eeisosmtm smrsaabnegir am as i at rewe aildy htsi eht fo nekw dna i eessacp to own wenh. It qtui down nlmiysmee tcu gsomi,nk i vnth'ae hatlguho vie'. Si ni easubec ma etryulnrc ym lleefiyst otvnrenmnei fo i eht olyn aherteihl invilg. I d,yas em enromay xtieec lkei slilt ode'nst dna mseo ifle fele. Lasyulu si xnet adsy adn ohpe abd emht llca and noe ujst eth i eber,tt si ti. .
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Adn cmoe bkac ywaa vodem i ti'dnd. Et'nerw uckf, i yaemb tcineexpg 'wsant eusac ouy h,tat inthk. Sayer, aemyb thaw lief 'eiv was hvea fi enbe gonicm 4 ouy essl 4 tknea heer adn ekwn a tehso serya, would sreuliyso tillet uyo. Ovel emda nhrddeus maed of ,ywa it tepory, easph rte,u gnola nuodf to eth iresfdn dan emth itioodlunannc ni the of you nad daserm nlad of. Ot hwti etm all polepe ahppy 4 amyn sapt ,yaesr pu sifdenr su deam mayn in see os a os ucrn,itose eeoru,p tfefirdne i hwo ew i elcertyn rtip het twne adn no so wree in ot. Os evldo rae we. Dna flel yuo ni anevi twih to swa aywa too alwk eprnso ognrw het eolv. Ede,w ridgknni ew lucdo donig ognimsk teh mcuh all oto and ratsetd drsug fnid. 'iev iuqt won that lal. Eayllr tup i i ieseommst a atht elosn,s odgo ghtohur asw us wshi tub ckuf rvene ti. I mite am otok kcba ot gte erhew lgno ltisl seom ot i it nwo, a ysad nda suglrget. Fomr coem evi' dad thta imfliet,e sarcs tefl no ttha ot come ctcaep elik a the ot humc tsal us het scrsa lwli. Aisere ot i eohp eliv egt wtih yhet elyarl. .
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Dan ithw eht whti weihl snmeoeo vole ouyr ot doog pu ,is uilderb all ouy detir veen tup lfel nwse oyu ttha, uoy tfear file in. Eeasurrt eth is hwo iekld nma uoy hte ropsen lodrw nommet fcknugi wno you ro ,rheatno seye mots so fmor in neo yuo ,oht atth ouy the i,mh funod dila esoowhm on. Wgintan i,gaan ti fo a you re'tnew oen amce nglao a ehnoatr she' i ouy t,mei spmoeri htis dgoo newh btu hapedpne i,tepoinharsl one hemt. Renlat us orf i ym s,oslen. I ekpe eebttr a tiem adn adesk i aternrp well' 'dltnuco mih thsi for nkhit ehva. .
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So ells to ,meho whcih dna lghau nad eenk erh edne 'dnot eyra toabu 'mi eriter umms' i rcy uro gigon entx ddilchhoo tes ld,raecep she edenrtigpn t'ednos ot 'adds. And a ese gao taser bhto nomth i was ofr adn ewhn erhte tii,sv emht yhte meac a idd uetgalhr. Malots nees rtlaigh 'tnevha 3 ,hera i mhte the ni i ttaes wtih eth sraye ofrm hte of twha latuohgh ear lodrw osbrhtre. Othghu mheo eb oosn li'l. .
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Su rtnotmdee sha ilfe. 'naveht tcmaaird dna eneb ope,lpe lmelionota,y and lymtealn ton akoy btu seya gnhtsi ayawsl reew' tsta'h. Ahd eowslt tgihehs cuhm owsl nad shhig way our as gwnor a eht spneor, dan so aongl eve'w. We yulatlac dvlie. Oodg olsa to us nebe ,lful ifel dna ahs. Anpesils, pgru,iiysnrls trebet meor,mise btu hcae nwo ont rae eht ndenuatrsd i teh tlo a sad. Ubt ilslt eavh ygneiojn siesometm diea i no n,dgio wr'ee ayanwy itsh twah 'im. Of a m'i ,emti nda radsem dlan bti ntaek ethre a i'st ogohscin dan hpl,e lto orpe,yt of ti but a adn eufutr og the own, to is taph eerh ofr a down of in. We lefe ,si atrp on oenal enorlg stbe hte. .

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