A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Esog. .
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T,o eht lla siltl ,mra erew are hveheciwr oyu ehre uryo one efrrerign no crass. Athe lstli evi' arsoe,fmr a utb eitltl neeb i nwdo elpeop ym ernokb gcithuon. Stamol, tish nthe i nad niopt i nhwe flei ttah ym psta os wnek e,ral i tdi'dn sa ta tsseoimme het yulkc nkhit elsfegni ym ecspsea atht of eth breamsgisnar i ot am eerw but liayd fmor rdea i own ehav aveh. Owdn lmisnmeye iuqt tcu v'ei nat'hve galuohht si,ngokm ti i. Ym yoln ni the of lngivi nonieetvnrm ahrihelte ma ifletelsy encyrlrtu i eeubacs si. Elfe llsit lief klei noyemar day,s em eodns't i eixtce adn esmo. Oehp rt,beet is noe ysad it si teh dan tmeh ulsuyla tjsu alcl i xtne and adb. .
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'itddn waay abck i eomc and emvod. At,ht yambe cu,kf you ewrnte' ixcpgntee sntw'a i aseuc knhti. Yuo ouy nebe 4 dna avhe rsya,e cnigmo eehr oehts resilyous eaktn was ei'v kwen fi 4 a etltli yameb sels dowlu a,syer whta elif. Pahes to mhte of dema nad ouy hte it undsrhde aogln ferdisn nad nlonuicndoait lnda re,ut nuodf fo fo ni pry,toe ,yaw voel het dema erdams. To hypap hte ni in peoure, os yman ewre i ihwt pleoep ntidrfefe sey,ar prit yreetlcn ptsa dfserni tem a nmya woh orte,sicnu to ese up ew on tnew so 4 so i su lal aedm and. Os ew rae vleod. Hiwt aayw rgonw opsern eth walk ni fell loev too dna wsa ot uoy nivae. Lal lcduo nad rdsttae hte krdginni ew hcum too idnf rgusd omsgikn edew, ngdio. Lla atth itqu nwo evi'. Ylrale ti vnree was wshi us tiessmoem i a oodg rughtoh btu cukf htta i lsen,os put. Cbak gesgrltu ewreh dan ti tmei wo,n get lilst i ma a to otko onlg i ydsa omes ot. Umhc het ctacep mi,etfile csars moec ive' lliw to su last meoc dda like ahtt teh srasc a eflt no ot rmof tath. Ylearl itwh to yteh peho vile i saeire etg. .
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Nsew thwi all pu godo upt uyo eoemnso even efll tihw vleo t,hta adn oyu efil ot idubler ni ,si diter eht yrou oyu rafet lewih. Ro ni mfro no hte eomnmt tath mih, liad yuo wno hte persno uoy lowdr ,tho hwo si dekli ouy otsm eno undof fuikcng hte mehosow eesrtrua oyu man h,noeatr os ysee. Eon btu cmae n'etrwe hewn i heranto uyo a isth one notliah,eisrp mpirseo inngtwa uoy dgoo mhet a se'h neahpped gaia,n m,eit loagn of it. I su my sos,eln atrnle rof. A otduc'nl eahv i ell'w ihktn rpenrat trteeb him mtie itsh fro eepk dakse nda i. .
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Whhic ot eend dnt'o ome,h liohdochd i nda ngigo ste laguh etirer hes neke uro nxet adn l,ceraedp 'mi mu'sm cry so elsl enpdrtegni uatob ehr en'sodt yrea ds'da ot. I arest rof sivt,i mhte saw dan maec htye mohtn oag a tohb rlauhteg a did dan wehn see eehtr. Lrtaigh eth tetsa seayr the hte owrld in i 3 i of ahwt mhte omfr orrehstb rah,e eesn ear lstmoa hwit tghahluo nhaet'v. Hmeo be l'il ghuhot nsoo. .
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Ttmeorden ilef us ahs. Not kayo tsngih and yetamnll ewre' vaeht'n nda enbe btu syae dimtarca thsta' leoep,p aalwsy ntooamilyle,. So eht as rwong agoln hmuc and s,ponre lwso dan uro dha way a ewotsl ishgh 'weve hhgites. Tulaalcy vdlie ew. Ot ebne ,fllu ogod sah nad ilef also us. Ont onw a tub asd rae rnatneduds hte glryusinrs,pi oesmer,mi otl treteb teh ceah sea,lnpis i. Siht but aawnyy neygijno i stlli on deai htwa we're g,dnio m'i ieemtossm veha. Lot m'i t'is hte dan fo e,hlp etkan a hpat a is to nadl ot,erpy a htree og eerh w,on ibt of erftuu a and rof of mt,ei it oscinogh dasrme owdn and ni btu. We orengl is, lenoa ebts lefe eht on tpar. .

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