A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot ïvean efiv uyo glbloa !own llwi thta as do aiemdcpn + os gsuse i ayesr a. .
.
:selrpoi ma i thwi high teestahewr hsoolc no my josh lorgen. Reay hoso,cl up of vahe su last m--dae end fo in for uor egbni sbet i oicendis ddene i ym tgeradau bhot hsropailtnei uodlc ot yflnlia eht ihchw deddiec. We dna jtus orf rwee otehr ew ahec upaynph eew'trn gtirh grteheto eliydribnc. In esyar pesokn i hse' wlle h'ntave ot tub mih ophe ehret igdno now i. .
.
:ii eaarmng i my i walmatr to na now nad llaatycu at dmiearr ;fredin nwhe nterni eofbre he swa 'im emt atrp ebst oesneom sraye eoisplr aws a. Pap itsrf _"__ aegsdmse i and a eth wsa on atndgi frmo imh ghitn neronedccte ailcssc ?trmla"wa we. Edniwgd my in deend saprhe up olas owvs ahtt a. .
.
My tboua raatgued tsfri ot tuo ayre ma fo i boj !!(!) of oochsl iinfhs 3. Eth siiigfntcan ot a i ntraoeh eptdcaec 'im sseocrp htta ctfa niiosopt elenyrtc tath ygtnir apy ersia istll si. .
.
Fcta ugothht up iapngpnhe eht den htta ahtt at i ddi pu ni nathk i ;flei end ahha wloud nseosdog sceeerind otn. .
.
A,hey no in yna sdik ihagvn oh i'm thres'e ayw lleh mtie onos. T'is if haev hsti eno a nad in ,lcdhi i odne do n!oc?moye. .
.
Was aecr hrtig dn'ot tspa one baout i th:gni ym me ola,s ryeaomn brdatiyhs uatbo. Falh odl hwo heav ot i eth i otuba ma etmi tinkh. .
.
Ti sha of ,nagig artp eemrcba ot anetroh tpar owryr me is isht uobat yintgr of ltlsi em btu. Hichw i orf day cerxenieep ma wthi esmoc eifl gae gtafrule evrey widsmo adn. Am tgldguers ahtt thikn amnow hhcwi erac bouat a sesl me rgeuoyn to as sethor i ylsmenmie twhi ieonct i twha i ragtstin of. To let a ingeb if listl cneert adn are to me itb; i cusk npateit ielf og nvstee teh ta eb soleon" sr"egin mreo neaicgth tptaine elltit lwil oyu utb. .
.
Nad ttha rthoes pohe cna prsat i tish see dear ni hmesvelets fo hist. Iensc epdeicxrene ey;sar eanhgsc oewrt efli dna a feiv ftliiudcf smeti wree oimrvped ni aomtls etlert 'ive tbu rifst meso syvlat my ym ahs sa otlsmy i -l2d-eaor2y trwgho nsmeiem. Ti enon aecm anlp nad !wwh(e) to who lfie nynfu uldwo out of olsmta otu lyap tsohe adn datnew wya eno tgtohhu t'si ym sdrtncoipei treu i. .

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