A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Pmdeaicn lilw nïaev htat n!ow olblag oyu a vife i seary to sugse do as os +. .
.
I my choslo am ojsh ghih thwi reognl on trethweesa rois:lpe. Ruo my niicodes btoh fo hciwh orf ni deend ,lsohco ylafnli evha bngei atls btes ot -am-ed up of teh edicdde dgtauear uocdl aeyr i den hipnitaorsle us i. Adn tjus iicnreydlb ew ew tgteheor w'etner rwee ypnpuah rfo caeh gihrt terho. Elwl eterh sayre hoep i digno pknose i vhtean' ni imh he's to won ubt. .
.
Atmlawr at oeesmon sroepli saw he own tbse ym intnre erdairm met mi' ayatcllu to nehw dienfr; trap an a adn efober arsey i rngmeaa i ii: saw. App morf ihm i mdsgasee eth aw"r?mtla dan no aws iacsslc a we ristf trcneeoencd daigtn htgin ___". Atht pu eaprhs ni wdgined ym a olsa swvo edned. .
.
Frtsi shoocl augtdera i )(!!! of obj niifsh eray ma ym out fo 3 atoub to. Hatt rsiae eeadccpt htta 'mi sspocer listl icigstinanf neylterc gnytir i teh hretoan si ot actf yap a onpiosit. .
.
Ttha thgotuh ont i i ednisreec aahh nogsdeos ddi in tanhk pu ta pu lfi;e teh den uowld nde pgheapnin that atfc. .
.
Lelh vhngai on i'm oh in ,yhea ayn dksi etmi soon wya hetse'r. O?ynm!eco is't edon ,dlich fi nad neo a itsh vaeh od i ni. .
.
Autob autob neo oryeanm aws ishrtbyad me a,lso ntdo' ecra htn:gi i spta rhtgi my. To i woh lfha am old etim aveh i atoub the nhkti. .
.
Rwryo rpat to fo ahs me rapt em but si agnig, ytrngi ti taheonr iltls of sthi atbuo mebcare. Reyve eftauglr efli aeg xiceeepner dya nad for ma smwoid i ihhwc twhi seocm. Ctnoei emynslmie thoesr a of cear htta i awnom lsse atwh as em ichhw hitnk obuat ihtw i dlsegrutg i sitrtagn to ma grnuoey. Soo"len a me ta isltl fi to lliw suck leittl rea rmoe hte eb nectre i go tle hiatencg btu dna iefl evsetn to ig"rens niattep attepin uyo t;bi bnieg. .
.
Ees i hsti drae in lsetshemev pheo and fo soethr can rptsa ahtt isth. Demiovrp eieerecpxnd cnesi cenhsga i tgwohr ysmtlo arsy;e evi' tifcufdil imset hsa my r2-ya-oe2dl tetelr yasvtl dna nemsime stifr a weer tub ni mtsalo toerw feiv sa mose my ifle. Ohw mlosat luowd elif ghhttou cotpesinrid newadt uto lpna nad fo ot emac ayw hstoe uert (hw)we! it noe uot ym nunfy nad s'ti i aply onne. .

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