A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A atht oyu do as iwll endmapci eayrs + fvei so won! aenïv llabog i ssgue ot. .
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Eolpsi:r etetaewshr my i am hhig tiwh jhso lgoern on lcohso. Tsal aeratdgu i m-a-ed teh lnfiayl coo,lhs deedicd ni of rof dne pu hobt tbes fo iedcsnio i iwhch my atlsroiphien egbin us udclo have ednde to erya rou. En'wret phupnya lcebnriidy ew jstu chea htgri eewr orf hteorget dan ew rheot. Ni tbu doing i well to i soenkp ahvtn'e h'es areys own imh pheo trehe. .
.
Bfeore nwo aeamgrn he mte i'm saw frndi;e amrirde dna oensmeo my to was ienrnt newh an i tebs a rtpa aesyr i:i ltacauly rtmawal at elpiosr i. _"__ hntgi mhi adn entccdreone on sfrti a romf alcscsi hte i dsemsgae anditg saw raaw?"mtl ew pap. Hpeasr pu aosl thta ended idgwdne ni a ym vwso. .
.
Ihnsif am ertgdaua fo jbo of hocslo istfr yera ym tobau ot 3 i tou !()!!. Sorscpe aficitngsni ayp htat accepdet nlcertye to a tgriyn actf hatt llist ipinstoo i eht ersia si hoatrne i'm. .
.
I tath gutohth tno idd rseeidnec eth ginanhpep up cfat aahh edn nodsosge i lfe;i taht uldwo ta ni thakn up edn. .
.
No yahe, im' in kdsi yan sono tsrh'ee teim yaw ho nvhgai lhle. Eno and oon?cmye! doen il,cdh haev a i if od in shti 'sti. .
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Cera 'dtno psta eno asw me sidthbyra my mnyerao uatob asol, ihtrg i gnhti: atuob. Ot owh i inkth i eth uaotb hvae lahf ldo ma tmie. .
.
Tuboa troaneh rrwyo me lltsi but itsh ytinrg abcerme em it to angig, fo rapt hsa artp fo si. Yad exineeprce for lief ihchw rlauefgt mcose twih i modsiw ma gea dan reyev. Tuboa fo snrigtta nmlmeeyis hawt htkni reac ma atht i me iwhch as i ssel nerugoy i onciet ot a trgdeguls hitw womna ohestr. Lttlei eb at apteint flei i ot ;bti go a ckus teh sllti era stvnee if dna oseoln" ceretn tbu etl rensi"g nieattp to emro yuo geibn iwll itachneg me. .
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I eadr taht sratp anc hstore fo htsi seemvlhtes ehop nda shit ees in. Aery;s mtsoal fdufilcti sitme tmsoyl agnsech fiel ni adn my ftsir aylsvt vfie sah msoe xdeipcneere eewr orhtgw mriodvpe inecs as d-e2yol-ra2 ym a utb i ewrot simneem vie' trelet. Teru alpy adn nnyfu pnal uot uto uthtohg of to louwd it's e(w!)hw ohset tsmloa it eno ewnadt yaw dna iefl owh i acme my irpicstndeo onen. .

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